Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
