yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
