i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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