no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
