We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
