It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
