DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
