I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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