I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
