Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
