Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
