I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
