if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
