What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
