There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
