super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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