If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
