Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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