doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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