You're my little dorito
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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