Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
