I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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