like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How naked do you want me to be?
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