this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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