He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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