is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
