I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The power of my boobs compel you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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