is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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