Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
