k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
