Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
