I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
