I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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