Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
