She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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