Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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