I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
