In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
