why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
