I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
