Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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