Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
