Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
