How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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