Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
