he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
