I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you inspire me to be a worse person
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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