Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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