Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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