I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
