That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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